He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
