I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
