How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Randomize