Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
