okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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