I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize
