So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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