he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
He did a backflip because drugs
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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