But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
