Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
please come you make the beer taste better
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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