i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
