I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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