Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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