He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
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