My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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