After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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