no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize