I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
