ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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