I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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