Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
