I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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