I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
