Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
And then my night got REAL pukey
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Verdict: uncircumcised.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
