Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
