He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
