Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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