i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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