I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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