One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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