i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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