he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
