I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
