I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
