i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
and she was petting her beer can
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
