His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
