Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
