I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
