we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
It's no shave November. This is our time.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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