I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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