I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize