What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
