Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
