I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
only if we run a train.
done.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
