You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
just come out here and I will go home with you...
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
