the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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