I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I'm always down for nudity.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
