I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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