Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
