I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
