Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
My vagina is very pro this idea
Then you guys just all showered together...?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
