boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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