dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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