I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
