ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
