I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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