the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
