So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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