I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
