Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
