You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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